Theatrical Trailer

Voice Over: From the producers of Joker and Cruella comes another tale of revisionist history…

We see a shot of school yard. A number of strange children and creatures play, including small dinosaurs and mushroom-people.

Voice Over: You thought you knew him…

One creature, an orange-yellow sort of lizard with a spiky shell and horns–referred to henceforth as B–walks slowly through the grass alone. Two cool kids, M and L–one short and stout wearing red and blue, the other tall dressed in green and blue, each of their upper lips dusted with the faint hint of an adolescent mustache–watch him go. M holds an empty red turtle shells, ready to throw.

B tries to hurry his pace, fearing the bullies, but slips and falls in some mud.

M: Look, it’s-a the big-a loser!

M and L laugh hysterically, while B struggles to his feet, wiping tears away from his eyes.

Voice Over: …but you haven’t seen where it all started.

Cut to a school hallway. B shuts his locker, revealing P, the prettiest girl in school, standing there.

B: Oh, hey, P!

P: I got your note, asking me to the dance.

B: Yeah?

P: And I just wanted to say…

B: Yeah?

P: NO WAY! I mean, lol! Could you imagine! A nerd like you and a cool person like me!

P walks away laughing as B hangs his head. When he looks up, he sees a weird turtle creature, K.

K: You don’t have to take their crap, you know?

B: But what am I supposed to do?

K: Work with me!

B: You? But you’re picked on even more than I am!

K: Sure, but what I lack in strength, I make up for in numbers.

Slowly the hall fills with other turtle creatures. B’s sad expression turns to a devilish grin.

Voice Over: Before he was the Sorcerer King…

We see only a shot of B all grown up, huge, terrifying, breathing fire.

Voice Over: …he was…

The image on the screen fades, revealing the title:

BOWS

Ancient Enemies by The Teenosaur

Over at TheTeenosaur’s Etsy Shop, we read that they’ve been “Designing stuff since 65.000.000 years ago!” That’s an impressive track record, we thought. Not to mention, we didn’t even know dinosaurs could create designs, let alone such intricate ones as these, of Italian plumbers and evil turtle creatures, all rendered in a Japanese style and incorporating Chinese characters! But we started to wonder: maybe they’re not dinosaurs. Maybe they’re people. Which would still be impressive. 65 million years is a long time to be alive, even for a person. Then we got wondering: maybe they’re being cheeky, and they’re just a couple from Valencia-Spain who love to churn out geeky shirt designs when they’re not working as game artists.

And you know what? Even if that’s true, we’re still impressed!

Theatrical Trailer

Voice Over: From the producers of Joker and Cruella comes another tale of revisionist history…

We see a shot of school yard. A number of strange children and creatures play, including small dinosaurs and mushroom-people.

Voice Over: You thought you knew him…

One creature, an orange-yellow sort of lizard with a spiky shell and horns–referred to henceforth as B–walks slowly through the grass alone. Two cool kids, M and L–one short and stout wearing red and blue, the other tall dressed in green and blue, each of their upper lips dusted with the faint hint of an adolescent mustache–watch him go. M holds an empty red turtle shells, ready to throw.

B tries to hurry his pace, fearing the bullies, but slips and falls in some mud.

M: Look, it’s-a the big-a loser!

M and L laugh hysterically, while B struggles to his feet, wiping tears away from his eyes.

Voice Over: …but you haven’t seen where it all started.

Cut to a school hallway. B shuts his locker, revealing P, the prettiest girl in school, standing there.

B: Oh, hey, P!

P: I got your note, asking me to the dance.

B: Yeah?

P: And I just wanted to say…

B: Yeah?

P: NO WAY! I mean, lol! Could you imagine! A nerd like you and a cool person like me!

P walks away laughing as B hangs his head. When he looks up, he sees a weird turtle creature, K.

K: You don’t have to take their crap, you know?

B: But what am I supposed to do?

K: Work with me!

B: You? But you’re picked on even more than I am!

K: Sure, but what I lack in strength, I make up for in numbers.

Slowly the hall fills with other turtle creatures. B’s sad expression turns to a devilish grin.

Voice Over: Before he was the Sorcerer King…

We see only a shot of B all grown up, huge, terrifying, breathing fire.

Voice Over: …he was…

The image on the screen fades, revealing the title:

BOWS

We all know who the king of the console mascots is. But who comes in second? (Please, support your answer in the comments.)