Perfection Sucks

If, like me, you couldn’t help but spend all December mainlining cheeseball Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and Netflix, then this week’s designs might be just what you’re looking for.

And, if you haven’t, let me give you a quick rundown of what you missed:

  • She’s a big city lawyer, or a country star, or a famous actress, or some other super successful person, and she’s gotta head home to her idyllic little hometown for the holidays. There, she runs into her high school boyfriend, who’s still around, and it’s super contentious and awkward at first, even though they’re now adults in their 30s. Eventually, though, they fall in love and she decides to give up her amazing job to move back home and open the artisanal soap store she dreamed about when she was a tween.

Or…

  • He seems like some soulless suit sent to buy her family’s farm, but little does she know he’s got a heart of gold, and he’s actually here to help her save the farm!

Or…

  • She’s a jaded down-on-her-luck reporter, sent, against her wishes, to cover a Christmas festival in a small town (something newspapers definitely spend money to do), where she meets the festival’s organizer, a cheeky (but strikingly handsome) man who teaches her to embrace the Christmas spirit.

Or…

  • They’re traveling together for work a few days before Christmas, and they hate each other (or do they?), but because of a snowstorm they get stranded together in an inn owned by an old man with a white beard whose name is Nicholas (could it be?), and they find the greatest gift of all: love.

Anyway, you get it. Everyone is perfect, everyone is kind, and everyone falls in love. And sure, it’s fun to watch a few and roll your eyes, but after a while you start to get frustrated by the antiquated, unhealthy portrayal of life and relationships these movies put forward, and, really, you just want to be alone, to set healthy boundaries, and to admit that you’re not as perfect as these people, because no one is.

That’s what these shirts are for, if you ask me. And also, there’s an astronaut. Because why not.

Space Issues by Eduardo Ely

You see the way Eduardo Ely draws astronauts, and you can’t help but think: he must be one himself. But no, Eduardo Ely is not an astronaut. He’s an illustrator from Brazil. But in a way, isn’t he an astronaut? Do artists not themselves take great, wild voyages to planes unknown? Do they not, by way of a pen or paintbrush or what have you, launch themselves towards places inside the human conscious as remote and as beautiful as any faraway star?

No? Yeah, you’re probably right. Anyway follow Eduardo on Instagram and Twitter.

Perfection Sucks

If, like me, you couldn’t help but spend all December mainlining cheeseball Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and Netflix, then this week’s designs might be just what you’re looking for.

And, if you haven’t, let me give you a quick rundown of what you missed:

  • She’s a big city lawyer, or a country star, or a famous actress, or some other super successful person, and she’s gotta head home to her idyllic little hometown for the holidays. There, she runs into her high school boyfriend, who’s still around, and it’s super contentious and awkward at first, even though they’re now adults in their 30s. Eventually, though, they fall in love and she decides to give up her amazing job to move back home and open the artisanal soap store she dreamed about when she was a tween.

Or…

  • He seems like some soulless suit sent to buy her family’s farm, but little does she know he’s got a heart of gold, and he’s actually here to help her save the farm!

Or…

  • She’s a jaded down-on-her-luck reporter, sent, against her wishes, to cover a Christmas festival in a small town (something newspapers definitely spend money to do), where she meets the festival’s organizer, a cheeky (but strikingly handsome) man who teaches her to embrace the Christmas spirit.

Or…

  • They’re traveling together for work a few days before Christmas, and they hate each other (or do they?), but because of a snowstorm they get stranded together in an inn owned by an old man with a white beard whose name is Nicholas (could it be?), and they find the greatest gift of all: love.

Anyway, you get it. Everyone is perfect, everyone is kind, and everyone falls in love. And sure, it’s fun to watch a few and roll your eyes, but after a while you start to get frustrated by the antiquated, unhealthy portrayal of life and relationships these movies put forward, and, really, you just want to be alone, to set healthy boundaries, and to admit that you’re not as perfect as these people, because no one is.

That’s what these shirts are for, if you ask me. And also, there’s an astronaut. Because why not.

If you could go to space, would you?

  • Hell yes! (Tell us why in the comments)
    Hell yes! (Tell us why in the comments)
  • Hell no! (Tell us why in the comments)
    Hell no! (Tell us why in the comments)
76 votes