Negative Nicholas and the Outside World

“Negative Nicholas,” called Cynthia, “would you liked to come outside with me?”

“Outside?” said Negative Nicholas. “But outside is the worst place of all the places in the world!”

“What do you mean?” Cynthia said. “It’s beautiful! Look out the window. Do you not see the lush green grass?”

“A veritable weed,” Negative Nicholas said, “growing over an endless supply of nasty dirt, which is itself a home for disgusting bugs and worms.”

“But what about that rainbow?” Cynthia said.

“A trick of the light,” Negative Nicholas said, “that only indicates the ground will be wet and unpleasant from a recent shower.”

“But what of the beautiful sunshine?” Cynthia.

“The sun is a ball of pure flames,” Negative Nicholas said, “that would kill us without remorse if it could.”

“The birds?” Cynthia said.

“Sad excuses for dinosaurs,” Negative Nicholas said.

“The flowers?” Cynthia said.

“They do nothing but ensure the presence of stinging bees,” Negative Nicholas said.

“The soft breeze?” Cynthia said.

“A highway for allergy-inducing pollen,” Negative Nicholas said.

“Fine,” said Cynthia. “I’ll lay out a blanket in the backyard and eat these two ice cream sandwiches myself.”

“You know,” Negative Nicholas said, “on second thought, outside is perhaps more palatable than I initially gave it credit for.”

Rainbows by Jasneko

We see what’s going on here. Jasneko gives us two designs promoting sunshine and rain. And what do sunshine and rain do? They help plants grow. Like the many plants in the forest. And if the forest is replete with plants? The animals that live there will be happy. Don’t you see? This is all some sly marketing for her super cute educational book for readers in and around pre-k, Animals in the Forest, available now on Amazon! Ha! Nice try, Jasneko, but we’re not falling for it!

Or, wait…

Anyway, be sure to browse her shirts on Shirt.Woot, follow her on Instagram, and check out her website.

Negative Nicholas and the Outside World

“Negative Nicholas,” called Cynthia, “would you liked to come outside with me?”

“Outside?” said Negative Nicholas. “But outside is the worst place of all the places in the world!”

“What do you mean?” Cynthia said. “It’s beautiful! Look out the window. Do you not see the lush green grass?”

“A veritable weed,” Negative Nicholas said, “growing over an endless supply of nasty dirt, which is itself a home for disgusting bugs and worms.”

“But what about that rainbow?” Cynthia said.

“A trick of the light,” Negative Nicholas said, “that only indicates the ground will be wet and unpleasant from a recent shower.”

“But what of the beautiful sunshine?” Cynthia.

“The sun is a ball of pure flames,” Negative Nicholas said, “that would kill us without remorse if it could.”

“The birds?” Cynthia said.

“Sad excuses for dinosaurs,” Negative Nicholas said.

“The flowers?” Cynthia said.

“They do nothing but ensure the presence of stinging bees,” Negative Nicholas said.

“The soft breeze?” Cynthia said.

“A highway for allergy-inducing pollen,” Negative Nicholas said.

“Fine,” said Cynthia. “I’ll lay out a blanket in the backyard and eat these two ice cream sandwiches myself.”

“You know,” Negative Nicholas said, “on second thought, outside is perhaps more palatable than I initially gave it credit for.”

I'd rather:

  • Curl up with a good book, some television, and a nice cup of tea on a cool, rainy day
    Curl up with a good book, some television, and a nice cup of tea on a cool, rainy day
  • Take a hike on a warm, sunny day
    Take a hike on a warm, sunny day
  • Neither of these really suit me (tell us about your favorite kinds of days in the comments)
    Neither of these really suit me (tell us about your favorite kinds of days in the comments)
35 votes