When To Wear Your Various* Flask Shirts

Wear the navy blue bubbling flask: when you’re getting ready to workout, i.e. you’re bubbling with energy.

Wear the navy blue cracked flask: when you’ve just finished a workout, and therefore are feeling drained.

Wear the dark gray bubbling flask: when you’re heading to a party, to let your friends know that you’re just bubbling with anticipation of a fun, social night.

Wear the dark gray cracked flask: when you’re heading to a party, and want your friends to understand that you’re going to stand in the corner, drinking quietly, looking off into the distance in a brooding way, thinking all the while of the about the beautiful violence of a shattered mirror.

Wear the navy blue bubbling flask: when softball practice is on (because the bubbles are basically little balls, right?).

Wear the navy blue cracked flask: when softball practice is cancelled due to inclement weather (because the crack kind of looks like a lightning bolt).

Wear the dark gray bubbling flask: to celebrate the process of making pasta.

Wear the dark gray cracked flask: to celebrate the end result of having made pasta (I.e. that you’re so full of pasta, you’re practically “cracking the tummy glass” as the old phrase goes).

Wear either bubbling flask: when you’re ‘cooking’ up a plan to finally take down old Lenny Two Times once and for all, reclaiming the warehouse district for you and the rest of the Box Cutters Union, even if it means putting your life on the line.

Wear either cracked flask: when you’ve successfully ousted Lenny Two Times, using a series of diabolical and clever tricks to make up for your relative lack of might in comparison to him and his team of henchman (known as the Twofers).

*Yes, we assume you’re just going to buy at least one of each shirt.

Flasks by Dave

The artist this week is Dave. You may know Dave as the guy who’s in charge of things around here. You also might know him as the guy who got in on Twitter so early his handle is just an underscore. Being an ecommerce/graphic tee mogul and early tech adapter, it’s no surprise that he often cavorts with celebrities, like 2-time NBA MVP, 3-time champion Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors. Anyway, we’d say follow him on instagram or something, but just by being here, you’re actually supporting him plenty. So… thanks!

When To Wear Your Various* Flask Shirts

Wear the navy blue bubbling flask: when you’re getting ready to workout, i.e. you’re bubbling with energy.

Wear the navy blue cracked flask: when you’ve just finished a workout, and therefore are feeling drained.

Wear the dark gray bubbling flask: when you’re heading to a party, to let your friends know that you’re just bubbling with anticipation of a fun, social night.

Wear the dark gray cracked flask: when you’re heading to a party, and want your friends to understand that you’re going to stand in the corner, drinking quietly, looking off into the distance in a brooding way, thinking all the while of the about the beautiful violence of a shattered mirror.

Wear the navy blue bubbling flask: when softball practice is on (because the bubbles are basically little balls, right?).

Wear the navy blue cracked flask: when softball practice is cancelled due to inclement weather (because the crack kind of looks like a lightning bolt).

Wear the dark gray bubbling flask: to celebrate the process of making pasta.

Wear the dark gray cracked flask: to celebrate the end result of having made pasta (I.e. that you’re so full of pasta, you’re practically “cracking the tummy glass” as the old phrase goes).

Wear either bubbling flask: when you’re ‘cooking’ up a plan to finally take down old Lenny Two Times once and for all, reclaiming the warehouse district for you and the rest of the Box Cutters Union, even if it means putting your life on the line.

Wear either cracked flask: when you’ve successfully ousted Lenny Two Times, using a series of diabolical and clever tricks to make up for your relative lack of might in comparison to him and his team of henchman (known as the Twofers).

*Yes, we assume you’re just going to buy at least one of each shirt.

Favorite science class you took in school:

  • Biology
    Biology
  • Chemistry
    Chemistry
  • Physics
    Physics
  • Astronomy
    Astronomy
  • Another one (comments, please)
    Another one (comments, please)
  • None of them?
    None of them?
129 votes